THe winds of change are in the air.  Big changes in my life are going on right now.  Tenitive plans are being made.  There are three opptions for me.  But what ever one it will be change is beginning.

I may not be completely ready for the changes .  But I'm willing to allow the changes to happen whatever way it does.  I may be giving up everything I have and loosing my family and friends.  I may end up living the rest of my life alone.  Or I could be gaining more than I could ever image.  No matter how things end up I'm ready for it to happen.

Up to now my life has been worth very little.  I have not done much with my life.  I've helped only a very small amount of people.  I wish I would have been able to help more people.  I have not been a very good son and brother.  I have given my family alot of pain even though they have not said so I can tell.

I hope I can do more in the near future but I just don't know what will happen.  If I end up alone for the rest of my life I am prepared for it.  I have learned sewing, cooking, carpentry, and many other skills.  I can survive on my own but for how long that would be I don't know.  It could be only for a few short months or It could be for another 50 years. 

All I can say is that I have tried my best to do what is good and honorable.  BUt I'm affraid that it's just not enough.